Jealousy

My life has a blanket of sadness over it. All freaking over it! Which I just don't know how to lift off of me.
Me, I'm a girl of little, or no words actually. I really like to listen though. I see those extra shiny personality people and I'm like, "what's wrong with them?"  i never really liked butt licking, loud and and fake type of people. Although those are ones I think kind of have a lining to their personality like, are really popular or may seem like good friends or are easy to talk to.
Now, I really don't know if I want to be that person. On the other hand I also don't want God to give them everything they wish for. That's unfair. He never gives me everything I need?! Some people just have it so easy. Not complaining, they might have other problems or so. But why does my life suck so bad? I want to have good moments and remember them. I want to feel ok.