Being different

Sometimes I wish I was different. I wish I had a certain uniqueness in me. But I just don't possess anything like it. I'm literally no one(not referring to game of Thrones) . A nobody. I don't have a talk. I don't have a walk. I'm not especially liked by people. And I'm just not 'it'!
Sometimes I just started at things when I have no idea what the fuck is going on. I let time take its course and hope it won't bother me again. But it does. And it does bad. And I fuck up over and over again. Now who says I don't Learn? I've been freaking trying to. Also trying to do more including to holding on to what I already have. Though not much.
When do tables turn? When do good times come around? When do you feel you're definitely worth something and you deserve it? Coz I've been waiting a long time for it all.