Currents

Been a while. 

I keep asking myself, "what do you want to be? What do you want to do?" And end up not doing anything. I've realised, no matter how hard you try, there are some things that are just not meant to be. I'd fool myself in thinking that I'd find something even better. But that ray is diminishing day by day. There's a possibility that it all won't amount to anything. 

I'm not afraid or Angy. Rather I'm not even disappointed. Fate, i try to believe in. I may not have an exceeding, multinational, polished personality. But there is a possibility of being something. Miniscule. But it is me. I wonder if it still matters? If I matter? If there has to be a reason for everything? Doesn't matter if the question is big or small. Doesn't matter if it matters or not. Doesn't matter if it is possible or not. In the end, it's not just one person in a moment. It's not even your entire life, that you're so preciously trying to draw. It's something entirely out of our control. And i think that just might be the most exciting thing.

sport

The feeling of your fingertips getting cold in anticipation of a challenge

The feeling of your heart beating loudly while you breath heavily

The feeling of a moment of solitude where you're in complete control and you know you can use this situation to your advantage

As they said correctly, it's only fun if you're good at it. 

Haikyuu, i feel, i remember, i reciprocate even though I'm not involved, in this feeling of being a good sport, this feeling that I had long forgotten. This feeling, of i don't know what to do with. This feeling, i don't know how to use it. 

The moment to look forward to, to anticipate something, to know that you are the one who can turn the tables. That feeling. I miss it.