What is it that I should be doing? No one cares what you do anyway. But you've got to survive! There are so many possibilities, but not one stands out or agrees with. Is the decision to be taken on the rhythm of my heart? Or the clarity in the brain? The consequences, who do they affect?
I'm definitely getting disoriented as well. The words are not sounding right. The sentences have abrupt meanings.
Which is why I mentioned at the beginning- the more I write, the worse I get with the things that should matter.
Truly, madly, deeply are all expressions for emotions. The logic has lost sense. Relying on a speculation about the future, is where I am at right now. And it will never be enough. But endure it well. Endure it all. If I can live past that point in time, I will consider I've survived regardless.
So is there a meaning in doing things this way? Would I want to live my life just to tell others my stories? No. There is so story here. Just the widest range of emotions/feelings. Useless. Unhelpful. Trash and brittle. But they are. And they will.
So what now?
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