Outcome oriented 人

 Ok so, you have decided on your goals and you want to work towards them. Your approach could be to be disciplined and work towards your goal. Give it your all. Do the MAX you can. Well that would be input oriented goal. Which is, well, alright I guess.

But since you have decided on your goal, how did you do that? Didn't you think, Ah! it'd be nice if this(your goal) happened. I wish I could make it come true. And you start working towards it. But every time you go to sleep, you append a bit to your imagination. Once you've fulfilled your dream, the luxury, the love, the pride, you start to inculcate it all little by little. You place yourself in your shoes who has achieved the dream, and wander around. Meet people you know and live the life that could be. 

And when you wake up the next day, you try harder towards being that person.

Honestly, this is way too personal. But that is how it is in my head. And it is definitely an outcome oriented goal. I am striving to become that person. But am I wrong to think this way?

I am comparing myself to myself. I didn't think there is anything wrong with the approach itself. But I do understand not being able to achieve a dream. Even when you're constantly trying and think about it. What happened, power of the universe? What happened to laws of attraction? I am not dependent on the arbitrary, non existent forces, of course. I am trying in tiny bits to better myself and become the person I imagine myself to be. 

But it is tremendous burden to carry. Every single day you see the vast difference between yourself and your goals. There is longing, everyday. There is wishful thinking and craving serendipity. And then there is peacefulness to close your eyes and just let yourself from the imagination take over in dreams. Which is why sleep is such a high. This is why people who are depressed crave sleep. Because they spend their time thinking instead of sleeping. Wishful thinking. 

This is what outcome oriented goal is. 

But how do you manage this? By just not thinking about your outcomes, will it help you focus? Even if you are disciplined, do you not have any outcome oriented goals? Is there never even a flicker of the dream? Of course we do, don't we? As a person with purpose, we are always striving to be higher, to be better. 

Is this not what it is? If it is so, is it not desirable? If it is, how is it you get it? How do you get there? How do you become that? 

I think I'd rather invent alternate reality and live mine through. It has been so exhausting just thinking and writing about it all. How do you solve this mess?